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“Property Guard”, Westminster: wonky sentry
“Property Guard” burglar alarm, City of Westminster • This wonky sentry was found next to a dingy net-curtained window in the red light area of Soho, so I won’t speculate what kind of property his red...
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“Knight Guard Security”, Brighton: un-knightly logo
“Knight Guard Security” burglar alarm, Brighton • Boo, no picture of a knight on this one, or even a humble guard – just a rather decaying G thrust into the welcoming arms of a big fat K. A most...
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“Securi-Guard”, Fowey: slimy shield
“Securi-Guard” burglar alarm, Fowey • So, now we move on to fortifications on shields, combining the popular tropes of militia and aristocracy. It’s amazing the label in question is still attached,...
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“CG Computa Guard”, Bolton: green and gritty
“CG Computa Guard” burglar alarm, Bolton • Let me count the ways I love this. It suggests it’s guarded by a computer. It’s spelled groovily. It’s green, which is unusual. It’s square, and I like...
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“Berkeley Guard”, Oxford: well posh
“Berkeley Guard” burglar alarm, Oxford • Berkeley has connotations of something really rich, doesn’t it? Like a hedge fund, or a property portfolio. So I looked up Berkeley Guard on the internet, and...
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“Sentry Alarms”, Rugby: old guard
“Sentry Alarms” burglar alarm, Rugby • So, after a brief musical interlude, we’re back with the mega-militia theme, this time with sounders boasting guards and sentries. To kick things off in Rugby...
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“Sentry Alarms”, Hull: furry hat
“Sentry Alarms Limited” burglar alarm, Kingston upon Hull • It’s not just the Queen who’s guarded by blokes in giant furry hats – they’re very popular on burglar alarms, as we shall see. The one above...
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“Assure”, Glasgow: foot guard
“Assure” burglar alarm, Glasgow • The correct name for these guys is Royal Foot Guards, and the Her Maj has four in front of Buck House whenever she’s in residence (two when she’s not). This one’s...
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“AllguarDelta Security”, Derby: dead bear
“AllguarDelta Security” burglar alarm, Derby • Those bearskin hats actually are made of brown bear, all the way from Canada. Apparently the Army has tried to find a synthetic substitute, without any...
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“Homeguard Security Systems”, Derby: bobble hats
“Homeguard Security Systems” burglar alarm, Derby • These guys look like toy soldiers, albeit with guns – and their bearskins look like bobbles. But, given the Queen only gets four Foot Guards outside...
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“Guard Security Systems”, Camden: vicious
“Guard Security Systems” burglar alarm, Camden • That’s enough Foot Guards – here’s an altogether more violent fellow, who I think may be meant to be a Norman soldier. In fact, he’s the most vicious...
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“Guardian Security”, Hull: James Bond
“Guardian Security (Hull)” burglar alarm, Kingston upon Hull • Now we move from guards to guardians, an altogether gentler-sounding concept. This one’s a mysterious figure with a touch of menace – and...
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“Guardian Alarms”, Lambeth: sarf London
“Guardian Alarms” burglar alarm, Lambeth • An elderly sounder from a 1980-founded firm that’s still going strong in sunny Sarf London, and using the same charming monogram to this day. I know this for...
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“Guardwell Ltd”, Camden: self-explanatory
“Guardwell Ltd” burglar alarm, Camden • A name that falls into the “does what it says on the can” category – I doubt there are any firms called Guardbad. Note also the nice retrofuturist “GW”...
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“Alarm Guard”, Cornwall: acid rave
“Alarm Guard” burglar alarm, Cornwall • A logo where 70s disco meets 90s acid rave – just right for the surfie town of Newquay. • Spotted: Bank Street, Newquay, Cornwall, TR7, England, 2012 •...
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“Safe Guard”, Lambeth: syntax alert
“Safe Guard” burglar alarm, Lambeth • Syntax alert: safely guarding, or guarding safes? Either way this golden oldster is guarding no more, I feel. Nice “futuristic” font, too – it’s Eurostile, often...
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“Pro-Guard”, Tower Hamlets: swishy
“Pro-Guard” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • It’s a bit hard to read, but the tiny label at the bottom says “Pro-Guard”. It’s in a swishy 1940s font called “Brush Script” which was in fact popular in...
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“Watchguard Security”, Cambridge: deleted
“Watchguard Security” burglar alarm, Cambridge • Hmmm, they appear to have crossed out their own logo. Strange (and very basic). • Spotted: Castle Street, Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, CB3, England, 2010...
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“Watchman Alarms”, Edinburgh: not plural
“Watchman Alarms” burglar alarm, Edinburgh • Another waveform in a circle, like Guardwell the other day – only not as retro. Luckily the name isn’t plural, so I don’t have to go on about the also...
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“Sentinel”, Hereford: shattered
“Sentinel” burglar alarm, Hereford • Same firm as yesterday, much older sounder. Presumably that bit of shattered electronics was a strobe once upon a time. The long-established firm is still around...
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